…Or do we?
A new study out of the European College of Neuropsychopharmacology( say that five times fast) suggests that the season in which you were born actually have an affect on your personality. Wait, so you’re saying all those periods my college roommate tried to justify the fact that she blacked out and got a face tattoo( again) by saying that “Scorpios are naturally attracted to transformation, ” she might have actually been onto something? Well , not quite. But also like, sure Amanda, whatever builds you feel good about that superstar above your eyebrow.
In the study, researcher Xenia Gonda asked 366 university students to fill out a questionnaire targeted at “four kinds of temperments they most personify.” She asked them to identify with statements like “My mood often changes for no reason”( yes, especially when watching reality television) and “I love to tackle new projects, even if it’s risky”( does dedicating Tai a makeover count ?) and “I complain a lot”( ugh I hate how people are always asking me topics …) and then correlated their answers to their birthdays. Turns out, Gonda discovered a legit connection between the season during which you were born and your ability to be a functioning human in society. So next time you see your parents, be sure to mention that their inability to wait until August to bone is the reason that you need such a heavy Adderall prescription. That’ll go over well.
Specifically, Gonda found that people born in the summer had much higher instances of “Cyclothymic Temperment, ” meaning they’re more likely to have mood sways, even when they’re not on their period. Both spring and summer babies showed a tendency toward “Hyperthymic temperment” which basically means being excessively positive, so I guess most nice girls were born in the spring. No wonder they’re always wearing so many colours. Disgusting.
People born in the winter were significantly less suceptible to mood swings, which is a pretty good tradeoff for the fact that nobody ever comes to your birthday party because your friends are all cold AF and suffered by seasonal depression. Fall babies, by comparison, “show significantly lower propensity toward depressive temperment than those born in winter.” So next time your friend with a September birthday tells you she’s upset, tell her that’s fucking impossible and switch the convo back to your own wintertime newborn problems.
Jokes aside, this is a pretty huge discovery. If this turns out to be true, next thing you know your cousin who can’t stop talking about how she and her husband are “trying”( Just say “fucking, ” Amberly …) is likely to be coordinating her ovulation cycle with the seasons to ensure that she has a non-psycho child. All the more reason to go to your local Planned Parenthood, ladies. Because the only thing worse than having an unwanted child, is having an unwanted child mid-summer so that it ruinings your beach bod and the rest of your life because it’s psycho.
But it’s not all bad, summer babies. At least now you have a foolproof, scientific justification for the fact that you ruined beach week because you ensure a photo of your ex and some girl on Instagram and drove your car into a sand dune. If you were a winter newborn and did that shit, you’d have no excuse.
Read more: www.betches.com